R.I.B. ticklers

We were very tempted to post the news story about Adlard Coles Nautical starting its own sailing school, but unfortunately April Fool’s Day fell on a weekend this year, and we just aren’t dedicated enough to the cause to do that kind of serious, time intensive work from home.

However, in honour of last Sunday, and simply because everyone in the office today is looking forward to the four day weekend, here are our top ten nautical rib ticklers. Remember: laughter stimulates the ventromedial prefrontal cortex in the brain to produce endorphins. Groaning does not (though this should not be taken as an indication of how bad some of these are).

Why is it always ‘women and children first’?
Because then the sharks won’t be hungry any more.

Why couldn’t the pirate play cards?
Because he was sitting on the deck.

What do sailors use to blow their noses?

What lies at the bottom of the sea and shakes?
A nervous wreck.

What fish can perform operations?
A sturgeon.

Where do little fish go every morning?
Plaice school.

What fish goes at 100mph?
A motor pike.

Who held the baby octopus to ransom?

How much did the pirate pay for his peg leg and hook?
An arm and a leg.

What’s the difference between a fish and a piano?
You can’t tuna fish.

And because we’re generous, here’s an eleventh for free (it’s also our favourite):

Where do prawns and lobsters go to catch the train?
King’s Crustacean.

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